M's birthday

So 15 years ago today I was having my first night home with M.
I know that the night before the moon was full, and I watched it cross the sky for most of the night, knowing that they planned to induce me. I had a not very nice time in the hospital, I tried to back out of being induced ( i thought I was in to have my waters broken but it was a prostin pessary) and was bullied into it by the doctor, whom I'd never seen before, who said I would have to go home if I didn't agree to it. I thought he meant right away. It was 6 am, I had no transport and hadn't slept all night.
A nurse on the way to the labour ward, stopped the lift between floors and hissed into my face

" get a grip of yourself woman, if you're in this state now what will you be like when it gets bad."
I remember thinking " oh my god, what will I be like when it gets bad?"
20 minutes later I was holding my baby. It was already bloody bad.

It was a fast painful labour for both of us. M got stuck by his elbow because he had his fist pressed against his cheek. For months he did that whenever he was distressed.
I discharged myself that night. I never did complain. I wish I had. It might have stopped some other person being bullied.

Today we took him clay pigeon shooting for the first time.